From the third season episode Seth

Jack: Jaffa jokes. Let's hear one of them.

Teal'c: I shall attempt to translate one, O'Neill. A Serpent Guard, a Horus Guard and a Setesh Guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment. The Serpent Guard's eyes glow! The Horus Guard's beak glistens! The Setesh Guard's…nose drips. (cracks himself up)

Cracks me up *every* time! Not so much at Teal'c's joke, but at the everyone else's stonefaced reaction. I mean c'mon guys, he at least *tried* to tell a joke!

Fabulous moment.

Ooh."Crusade", season 9. When Vala's angsting about having become pregnant without sex, and asks if any of them have heard of anything like it, and Sam and Cameron exchange looks, and Cam says uneasily, "Well, there's one ..."

Teal'c (very seriously): "Darth Vader."

(I especially love the fact that Vala asks how that turned out, and Teal'c is clearly about to start explaining the plot of the prequels to her.)

I can't remember where this is from, but for me it's pure Jack and Teal'c :)

Teal'c: Trust in me, O'Neill.
O'Neill: What if I'm not O'Neill?
Teal'c: Then I was not talking to you.

My favorite Teal'c scene is in Avatar. It's the scene where he gives up, slides to the floor sitting there *flash reset* His head is now in his hands *flash reset* Teal'c is sitting on the ground...

You can just feel how broken he is as the game resets.

Of course, there's the 'undomesticated equines' thing in Message In a Bottle.

And in Unnatural Selection (I think) when Jack tries to grab some of Teal'c's ice cream and Teal'c snatched the tub away from him and gives him an evil look.

I also love Jonas Quinn and Teal'c together. They have some truly awesome moments. "Are you suggesting an alien conspiracy?"

I totally love Teal'c's outfit in Ascension. I think Teal'c watched one too many episodes of The Grand Ol' Opry or something before he got dressed. And especially this:

Jack- So, now what?

Teal'c- I have read of a place where humans do battle in a ring of jello.

Jack- Call Daniel.

Early *early* Teal'c. They're leaving the base and he's been watching the news. Hammond tells him he can't take his staff weapon. His response? "I have seen your world." :-):-)

Funny Moments:

"Things will in fact, calm up."

To Simmons (not Graham! Q) when he explains how Simmons could tell he was no longer brainwashed because if he was, he would not hesitate to kill him where he stands.

That Teal'c watches the home and garden channel (affinity).

Cam and Teal'c have offered some gems.

Like that total smirk he's got when Mitchell's bouncing around about bullets bouncing.

Or in "the Scourge" when Cam's trying to get him another apartment.

Teal'c: That is not necessary.
Mitchell: Hey, what are friends for?
Teal'c: For listening when you say 'that is not necessary.'

And then bonding over "Old School" and later Teal'c telling Mitchell to refrain from speaking.

Best acting moment for CJ! With LGJr in FH2 when he convinces Gerak to convert during their meeting on Chulak. That was awesome.

For poignant, I go with Lost City when Teal'c's heartbreakingly asking if Jack can even undestand him anymore, and then Jack reaches out (I swear I think Jack/Teal'c is the most obvious "ship" amongst team members, lol, and I'm not a slasher!)

Or the time in Orpheus with Daniel where he explains how Daniel came to him when he was dying and for that he would be eternally grateful to Daniel Jackson...like a really long speech for Teal'c! AW!!

Hmm. Need some Bra'tac/Teal'c too:
From Orpheus:
Bra'tac: (being all yoda'y) This is why despite you being younger, you have never defeated me.
Teal'c: That is because for a long time, I have let you win.

Aw!!! Teal'c and Bra'tac for the win!

"What is an Oprah?"

Especially when you contrast that with Bad Guys, and Daniel's cluelessness and "Die Hard".

And Bane. Shooting Daniel with the water gun.

"Things will not calm down, Daniel Jackson. They will, in fact, calm up."

And the hats. Especially the cowboy Acenscion hat.

(To Ba'al) "Assist us, or I will squeeze you through these bars."

I love that moment in Season 8, "Sacrifices" when Teal'c and Jack play table tennis and talk about Rya'c

O'NEILL (preparing to serve): Zero serving three.
TEAL'C: Serving eight.

Hahaha! So funny.

I also love Season 3 "Urgo" - *points to icon* and the time when Urgo nearly gets Teal'c to use the defibrillator on himself.

And Season 4 WoO! With all the crazy stuff he and Jack do, and his crankiness at that airman who keeps hitting him with the door.

I'm particularly fond of this moment:
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...How come no one did that one yet?

I love this exchange in Chimera, when Teal'c is counseling Daniel on his dreams:

Daniel: So basically, I'm destined to never going to get a good night's sleep ever again.

Teal'c: Knowing your past experiences, Daniel Jackson, I do not know how you have slept well before now.

And Affinity, when he and Sam and Daniel are discussing the perils of relationships:

Sam: Teal'c, how do Jaffa couples handle their problems?

Teal'c: On Chulak, a dispute between a man and a woman that cannot be resolved necessitates a pledge break. It must be requested by one and granted by the other.

Daniel: And if that doesn't work?

Teal'c: A weapon is required.

A lot of my favorites have already been mentioned, but I will add that I utterly adore how much Teal'c can convey with a lift of the brow or a tilt of the head, his riffing on Jack in the invisibility scenario in 200, his trying to smile in First Commandment and then doing it right in Singularity, his defiance of Apophis when he saw the rest of SG-1 lying dead in The Nox... Oh, I do love our Teal'c. Kree!

"Indeed."

Um..all of them?

I just love how he develops into a tactile person over time. As I think about it, I believe Teal'c is the person who doles out the most hugs and pats and reaches out the most to those he loves.

He also made Unending for me.

Arm wrestling Vala with no effort

Shooting Daniel with the water gun

What about the saving scene of Proving Ground (outside of course for Bill Lee's entry)

Jack: Just give me a little warning, okay.
Teal'c: I am going to shoot you, O'Neill.
Jack: No, I mean like on three. One...two...
Teal'c fires
Jack after getting smelling salts: "Three"

MITCHELL
Hey look, I don't want to argue about this. I'm right, we'll leave it at that.

DANIEL
(annoyed)
Compelling argument. Teal'c, what do you think?

TEAL'C
I think I should have remained with the tour.