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Name three fics you think I will never, ever, ever write. In return, I will attempt to write a snippet of one of them. (Assuming, you know, that I have some idea what the fandom is, etc.)
Do your worst! :-)
Me, procrastinating on my Sam/Daniel fic? Naaaaaaaaaaaaah.
Actually, I've written 500+ words on it today, so I'm feeling productive. Although I'd feel more productive if I could work out What Happens Next. If I get it finished by this weekend, is anyone up for a quick beta? I don't think it'll be much more than 1,500 words when finished.
edit: Thanks to
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"Major!" Jack bellowed, using all the voice projection he'd had trained into him at the Academy. "Stop flying around right this instant and GET BACK DOWN HERE!"
There was a faint, rebellious noise from several metres above their heads, and the Colonel looked irritably at Daniel. "It wasn't my fault!" protested the archaeologist, for the several-dozenth time. Jack's scowl deepened.
Teal'c was standing with his hands behind his back, calmly observing the errant Major's aerial acrobatics with her new... acquisitions. "I believe it will be most difficult to persuade Major Carter to land," he remarked.
"Thanks, T," said Jack, sarcastically. "I hadn't worked that one out. MAJOR! IF YOU'RE NOT DOWN HERE IN FIVE SECONDS, I'M PUTTING YOU ON REPORT!"
From this distance, it was difficult to tell exactly what Carter said, but it definitely didn't have the proper, respectful tone due to a superior officer. Jack sighed, and gave in, staring up at his 2IC along with the rest of his team.
"You know," he said, "If someone had warned me that Carter was going to grow wings, I'd've expected something more Tinkerbell than... Batman."
"I'm telling her you said that," said Daniel.
Jack's shove sent him sprawling onto the controls. Daniel's outflung hand hit a button, there was a tinkling sound, and they both turned to stare in horror at Teal'c.
"IT WASN'T MY FAULT!"
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edit2: Jack/Felger (Avenger 2.0 spoilers)...
"Colonel O'Neill!" yelled Jay Felger, flinging himself at Jack and babbling his relief at being rescued. Jack, in response, grabbed Jay's hat and fended him off.
"Felger! Felger! JAY! What did I say about touching?" he snapped.
Jay stepped back, quickly. Jack could be so touchy – in the non-touchy way – sometimes. "Not in public," he muttered.
"Damn right."
"Absolutely, yes, it's just I'm so glad to see you – we were over there, and they – the Jaffa came, and they were shooting, and I couldn't fix the Gate controls, and they were everywhere, and Major Carter was shooting, and then you – you-" his voice sped up as he spoke, a heady combination of adrenalin and relief, and he lunged again at the Colonel, wrapping his arms around him and clinging for all he was worth. "I'm so glad to see you," he said, muffled against Jack's chest.
Jack rolled his eyes and pulled a hand free, to rub Jay's back, soothingly. "Yeah, I got that," he said, somewhat more gently.
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edit3: OMG, you must read this right now!
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I love this meme.
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edit4: Last one:
Janet was displeased.
"No," she said.
Two very tall men and one teenaged girl shrank a little more.
"But, mom–" said Cassie, unwisely drawing attention to herself.
"I said no, Cassie." There were no threats, no raised voices. There was only The Tone. Cassie subsided immediately, and Janet's focus went to Daniel and Teal'c. They both flinched. Fake gods had nothing on this woman.
"I am unfamiliar with the Tauri custom of 'the prom'," tried Teal'c. "Daniel Jackson and Cassandra were–"
"Oh, don't give me that," said Janet, disgustedly. "We all watched 'Pretty In Pink' together just three weeks ago. Don't think I've forgotten."
Teal'c was vanquished. Janet turned to Daniel, her expression demanding an explanation.
"I don't see why it's so wrong for men to dress colorfully, and after all in many other cultures it's perfectly acceptable, even expected, that men will wear a long robe - the Jaffa, in fact, being an example of that, and besides, you said Cassie needed a chaperone, and Teal'c will still be the most intimidating man there, even in aquamarine tulle..."
His babbling petered out under Janet's icy glare. Daniel looked at the floor, and shuffled his feet.
"Ithoughtitwasfunny," he muttered. Teal'c shot him a betrayed look.
"What was that?" enquired Janet, crisp as a Colorado winter morning.
Daniel looked up, and gave her his best, most sincere, most winning smile. "Janet, I'm really-" he began.
An aquamarine court shoe, size 12, caught him squarely between the eyes.
- Music:In my head: Defying Gravity
Comments
Seriously, the series is ten times better than the movie. I think you'd especially dig the episode 'Shindig'. It's funny and angsty all at the same time.
BTW, totally awesome wacky fics! Loved the wings one especially. I had to read the Jack/Felger one from between my fingers. I'm now disturbed to no end.
I so will. But not just now. Soon, soon.
And, ta! I'd actually thought vaguely of the Jack/Felger one since I saw that scene in Avenger 2.0. Because, apparently, my brain is that warped. *g*