Yeah, I blatantly stole from Wayside School.

*_*_*_*_*

The locals were staring at him.

Jack surrepticiously wiped a hand across his face. Nope. Nothing there. But they were still staring.

"Guys," he said in a calm, quiet voice, "Do you know why our new friends are staring at us?"

In a moment, all three had taken a nonchalant look around the room in a rehersed maneuver that would have done self-conscious junior high girls proud.

Daniel said, "I don't know, but it's weird."

Teal'c said, "I believe they're looking at the food item you chose."

Carter and Daniel looked around again.

"Huh," Daniel commented.

All four of them looked at his plate. A pile of messy gray goop sat in the middle.

"Is that even edible?" Daniel asked.

Jack shrugged. He just hadn't been paying attention to much of anything when he'd been asked which dish he wanted. Carter's plate was filled with what looked like buttery vegetables, and Daniel and Teal'c had both stocked up on thin-sliced meat of some kind.

He said, "I think they said it had mushrooms in it."

Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

Jack shrugged again and picked up the vaguely fork-like implement in front of him. He dug it into the goop, which squelched.

"I can't watch," Daniel said.

Carter, who was sitting next to Jack, looked around the room again. "They obviously know something. Sir, I don't think you should--"

Jack stuck a large scoop of whatever it was into his mouth, chewed, and swallowed.

"Huh," he said. "Not bad. Kinda tastes like a cross between lemon and cheddar cheese."

Daniel said, "Okay, that just sounds--"

Jack's face flushed. His eyes looked disturbingly unfocused. Sam scooted back along the bench, afraid Jack was going to throw up.

But he didn't. Instead, he stood up, grabbed Sam, making her stand up, too. And then he kissed her. On the lips.

Then he sat back down. Sam stood still, in shock.

Daniel said, "Jack--what did you just--"

Jack looked up, his eyes guiless and wide. "What? Do I have something on my face?"

"You don't remember what just happened?"

"Daniel, we just got food. Nothing's happened." He looked up at Carter.

"Carter? Why are you still standing? I won't bite."

Carter sat down slowly. "I'm going nuts."

Teal'c said, "Indeed you are not, Major Carter. I saw it."

Jack had picked up the fork-thing again, but stopped short of taking another bite. "Saw what?"

Teal'c and Daniel opened their mouths simultaneously, but didn't get the chance to speak.

"Colonel O'Neill! You are truly a brave man!" Their host, whose name had been shortened to "Ed" withing two minutes of their introduction, came up behind Jack and clapped him on the shoulder. "In all my years I've never seen anyone try the Ghe'hara, although Rita swears on her life that it's simply delightful."

Daniel looked thoughtful a moment, then choked with laughter. "Ghe'hara!"

Carter, Jack, and Teal'c looked puzzled.

Daniel added, "Essentially, Jack, you're eating mushroom surprise."

They all took another look at the goop.

Carter said, "That explains a lot."

Teal'c said, "Indeed."

Jack shrugged and dug into it for another spoonful.

Yay! Mushroom surprise, hahaha! :D Love it. Love that Jack doesn't know what he's done. Heehee. I'm looking forward to what you do with the next one, too...

Thank you!