Sam and Jack are temporarily stranded alone together on what they think is an uninhabited planet. Sam is trapped and nearly dies, and there are flashbacks to Divide and Conquer. Jack has to give her the kiss of life, then take off all her wet clothes and snuggle in a sleeping bag with her to conserve body heat. Then they find a hot spring, which – the planet being half frozen – they'll have to use to keep warm.
My brain goes AU.
They discover the native population, and are taken for husband and wife gods. They save some kids, and get to go home. When they return to the planet, they're under orders to pose as the husband and wife gods (Jack has to call Sam 'Chalchi', which made me go all warm and fuzzy inside). Things happen, and Sam thinks Jack has died, and despairs. Jack thinks Sam (and 'their' kids) have died, sinks to his knees, overwhelmed by loss and grief. More stuff happens, SG-1 win out, the end.
Summary for those avoiding the spoilers:
Sam/Jack cliché-palooza! It only needs an alien sex farm, and for Sam to be marrying some complete loser, and they'd have the full set (and I hear one of those things happens in Alliances). Is it wrong that I'm this delighted to discover that some of the Stargate novels are essentially well-written badfic? :D
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chasethestars
chasethestars
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*boggles at that second paragraph*
Chalchi?
AHAHAHA! (Please tell me you were kidding about that!)
Man... I've got a bajillion of the Star Wars tie in novels (and some of those definitely read as crack!bad fic... "The Courtship of Princess Leia", I'm looking at you here!)
But that one sounds like it would be entertaining in the *throws book against the wall, hard* kind of way. But I just know it would have the potential to hit my Sam/Jack smooshy kink and I'd be all over it like a romance novel that had pirates (and a Duke)
I picked out all the Sam/Jack cliches because it was entertaining as to how many they'd put into a novel that supposedly follows canon, but to be fair, there was more to the book than that (exhaustive historical details - kind of heavy-going for a fandom book). Whilst they have all those cliches, they don't actually follow them through as much as someone writing fanfic would do. Conserving body heat doesn't lead to kissing, hot springs don't lead to sex, posing as married gods doesn't make Jack and Sam turn into embarrassed teenagers...
Sadly, though, it suffers from a lack of pirates. :( But there is Aztec gold!
In fact that's a great idea for coming up with obscure alien names:
ofdshosdfer
powqpo4
alepoelpo
djksjtrpwoert
add a few random apostrophes and presto! Instant culture :D
Aztec gold! (There better be some kind of curse associated with that!)
How does one pronounce "powqpo4", then? *g*
hehe... must be a sort of cousin to Apophis.
Yay! How to come up with alien names.
The only Star Wars books that I truly enjoyed were the Timothy Zahn ones and the X-Wing series.
But re-reading it is painful to say the least! Han is such a neanderthal bone head, and the amazon women!! GAH!
I wish I could find some really good Han/Leia fanfic, but that seems to be in short supply. : (
Maybe it's just because the original Star Wars fandom started way before the advent of the internet that a lot of fic was in zines that never made it online. Also maybe I have unrealistic expectations on what is 'good' fic. I have nearly thirty years worth of personal fanon that I've developed in my head so maybe that's why the majority of the fics that I do find,Han and Leia seem OOC to me. Maybe I'e just been spoiled by the high quality S/J fic I've been exposed to since discovering fanfic several years ago.
If you have any recs please let me know. : )
I have some recs for you. Your milage may vary, but I do know a couple of authors you should check out--most of them on the angsty side of things. But you're right--Han/Leia (at least the good stuff) really started out before FFN became the major archive online, and even then a lot of it was probably done offline. I've thought about that a lot.
On FFN, you might want to check out Limelight. "The Not Quite Love Letters" is half angsty hell and half completely ridiculous humor. (She has an odd pairing of Janson/Mothma that...should totally not even work but somehow kinda does in a weird way.) It's NOT finished, which is a major bummer, in my opinion.
Knightedrogue, also on FFN, is a good friend whose NRI series is an AU where Han and Leia are spies. It's not as funny as it sounds (I've written the fluffier side of this universe), but KR works really hard at imagery and symbolism. (Some of KR's older fics make her cringe, and you can quite clearly see her progression as a writer.)
Ivylore (her name on FFN) wrote Renewal, which is the post-RotJ staple of angsty Han/Leia romance fic. I HIGHLY recommend it, and anything else she's written--though her latest fic is er...dark. Really dark. And twisted. (but so good!)
In fact it might be time for a reread ...