Title: Need-To-Know
Author: Pepper
Rating: G
Wordcount: 542
Featured Character(s): Jonas
Pairing(s): None
Summary: Someone thinks Jonas should be kept in the loop.
A/N: Sequel to Insider Info. This is my contribution to sg_fignewton's SG-1 Gen Fic Day.

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Sadly, they were interrupted before Jonas could get more details about the rest of SG-1. But after Jonas's first trip into space, he returned to find an anonymous printout in his locker. His immediate impulse – to say out loud, "What's this?", and to start reading – was curbed when he saw the names on the sheet. Glancing behind him to where the Colonel and Teal'c were changing, he swiftly folded the sheet and tucked it casually into his pocket.

"See you later, Colonel, Teal'c," he said, politely. The Colonel grunted without looking up, still not entirely comfortable around Jonas – and for that, Jonas couldn't really blame him, but he did hope it would dissipate with time. Teal'c looked up, met his gaze, and nodded.

He picked up some food from the commissary, coffee and some of those delicious fries that Sam told him were bad for him and promptly stole, "For your own good, Jonas," and went back to his quarters. There, he smoothed out the sheet of paper, wondered again if he'd ever get used to the disorienting sensation that it was just slightly the wrong shape and texture, and began to read.

The headers, in bold, listed the names of the three other members of SG-1. Beneath them were bullet-pointed lists.

Colonel O'Neill
- Try not to stare at the hair. Don't offer product or the name of a good barber.
- He won't tell anyone about the time he found you crying your eyes out in the locker room after the worst mission of your life. He will, however, tell the entire base and every alien you meet for the next six months about the time you tripped on a rock and slid down a hillside, and had to limp back to the Gate with your muddy ass hanging out of your torn pants.
- At some point, you will put your foot in it about his son. Whatever you do, don't make a big fuss about apologizing.
- Don't let him eat the Chicken Tetrazzini MRE when you're going to have to share a tent with him later.

Major Carter
- Everything in her lab is dangerous – especially when thrown with sufficient force.
- If she's voluntarily taking time off to get some sleep, the world isn't about to end.
- Blue jello is good, but about once or twice a year there'll come a situation for which Godiva chocolates are required.
- She does have a life: this is it.

Teal'c
- Jaffa love songs are extremely educational, but his symbiote metabolises alcohol too fast, so you won't hear them unless you obtain a sample of the purple sagebrush from P5G-298 (a.k.a. bio sample #38H3V in the locked cupboard on the left-hand side of Dr Lee's lab).
- Don't attempt the above unless you're absolutely certain that you'll be on different planets for the next week.
- Never overlook the fact that he misses his family. Every day.
- Ice cream is not for sharing.

At the bottom of the page was a brief note. "When you realize you've broken all these rules at least once, then you'll know you're a member of SG-1."

Underneath it was signed with a terse, "D." But no doubt that was someone's idea of a joke.

...Right?

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END.