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Stargate ficlet: Amanuensis (G)

  • Aug. 15th, 2008 at 3:24 PM
pepper: Pepperpot (Cookie)
Title: Amanuensis
Author: Pepper
Rating: G
Wordcount: 427
Featured Character(s): Jack, Daniel
Pairing(s): None
Summary: It takes great effort to be this annoying.
A/N: For [livejournal.com profile] crazedturkey , with love.

---

"…'A fall is an event which results in a person coming to rest inadvertently on the ground or floor or other lower level.' Well, that sounds about right." Jack ticked that box. And then went back over the tick with his pen, several times, for emphasis. "Would you say that was one floor you fell, or two, Daniel?"

"Three," said Daniel, grumpily. Being incapacitated with a broken arm and having Jack, of all people, writing for him, did not a happy archaeologist make. And Jack was leaning his clumping great boots on Daniel's infirmary bed, further pinning him in place.

"Hmm," said Jack, sceptically, but put a little note beside the box, anyhow. 'Fell 3 underscore, underscore floors.' He read on. "'Was it as a result of a) Actions or negligence of a person or persons, organisation, group, or company, b) As a result of your own actions or negligence, or c) Other?'"

"The floor caved in on me," said Daniel, irritably. "You were there, Jack! Can't you fill that in somewhere else?" He tried to tug some blanket free of Jack's boots, to no avail.

"Yes, but was that as a result of a) Actions or…"

"Jack! For god's sake!"

"…person or persons, organisation, group, or company, b) As a result…"

"Will you just go away?"

"…own actions or negligence, or c) Other?"

Daniel tried to cross his arms, but was hampered by the cast.

"Hmm?"

"Why are you even doing this? Aren't I supposed to do it? On my own," Daniel added, pointedly.

Jack shook his head. "It's that new Australian doc," he said. "She told me that, seeing as I'd let you get yourself injured, the least I could do was fill out your paperwork." He grinned. "I think I'm gonna like her." Daniel rolled his eyes, and muttered something under his breath. "What was that?"

Daniel eyed the Colonel, who was looking mild. Always a bad sign. "Never mind."

"Mmph. So whose fault was it that you fell?"

"Oh, for-"

"Daniel."

"Okay! Alright! It's my own damn fault! You told me not to go in there, you warned me it was dangerous, you only had my best interests at heart, you were right and I was wrong – will you please give it a rest, now?!" Jack stared thoughtfully at Daniel for a long time. "Okay?"

Jack glanced down at the form. "Own actions or negligence," he said, and ticked that box, firmly. "Aha. 'If you answered 'B', is it something that you'll never do again, promise, cross your heart and hope to-"

"Aaaaagh!"

---

END.

(ETA: Meep! My copy of Continuum was posted yesterday! *sits by letterbox*)

Comments

[identity profile] a-loquita.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 15th, 2008 02:51 pm (UTC)
*snort* I always love when Jack says, "What was that?" For some reason it's my favorite. Thanks for this and happy Friday! :)
ext_3314: Woman writing (Default)
[identity profile] pepper-field.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 15th, 2008 04:42 pm (UTC)
Hee, you're welcome! Thanks, glad you liked. I totally don't find Jack's feigned deafness cute - oh no. :)
ext_3557: annerb icon with scenes of all team variations, my OTP (Default)
[identity profile] aurora-novarum.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 15th, 2008 03:02 pm (UTC)
Hee. The summary says it all. Poor Daniel.
ext_3314: Woman writing (Default)
[identity profile] pepper-field.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 15th, 2008 04:43 pm (UTC)
Well, you know - have accidents around Jack, and be prepared to be sat upon until you swear never to do it again. It's his way of showing he cares. *g*
[identity profile] supplyship.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 15th, 2008 04:39 pm (UTC)
Hee hee! Jack, your subtlety is astounding. ;)
ext_3314: Woman writing (Default)
[identity profile] pepper-field.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 15th, 2008 04:45 pm (UTC)
Yeah, his way of getting his point across is subtle and understated - he's practically famous for it. *g*
[identity profile] annerbhp.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 15th, 2008 04:47 pm (UTC)
Bwhaha. No one can torture quite as effectively as Jack O'Neill. Just makes me want to squidge both of them.

Oh, HEY. Guess where I will be in less than a month?! (Must email you. *digs around for addy*)
ext_3314: Woman writing (Default)
[identity profile] pepper-field.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 15th, 2008 04:56 pm (UTC)
Ooh! Ooh! pepper_f_21@yahoo.com! *hops around in excitement*

Jack is a pain in the mik'ta, and if he were real life, I'd... still find him adorable, probably. I'm a sucker for guys like that. *g*
ext_2131: picture of a fish with lots of green (Default)
[identity profile] holdouttrout.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 15th, 2008 04:56 pm (UTC)
Yes! This is how Jack reacts to Daniel getting hurt--by tormenting him into promising to never do it again. *grins*
ext_3314: Woman writing (Default)
[identity profile] pepper-field.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 15th, 2008 04:58 pm (UTC)
Of course, it won't work - because the moment Daniel thinks that the dangers are outweighed by the benefits, he'll go and do exactly the same thing again. He's probably got his fingers crossed inside that cast, you know. *g*
ext_2131: picture of a fish with lots of green (Default)
[identity profile] holdouttrout.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 15th, 2008 04:59 pm (UTC)
Oh, yes. The only consolation Jack has, really, is the tormenting part. Not that he minds, really. It makes the paperwork go faster, at least.
[identity profile] suzannemarie.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 15th, 2008 05:00 pm (UTC)
Hey, with all that paperwork, you've got to do something to entertain yourself.
[identity profile] suzannemarie.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 15th, 2008 04:59 pm (UTC)
Aw, cute! This is why you should always listen to Jack. If you don't and things go badly, you're going to know about it. ;)
ext_3314: Woman writing (Default)
[identity profile] pepper-field.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 15th, 2008 05:06 pm (UTC)
So - listen to Jack, or he'll go on and on and on about why you should've listened to him, afterwards? ...Sounds about right. *g* Hee, thanks!
ext_2207: (Default)
[identity profile] abyssinia4077.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 15th, 2008 05:05 pm (UTC)
Heee, oh, Jack, if you don't stop soon Daniel is going to bean you with that cast.
ext_3314: Woman writing (Default)
[identity profile] pepper-field.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 15th, 2008 05:23 pm (UTC)
Not at all - that's why Jack is doing this whilst Daniel is still weak enough with bloodloss and whatnot to need to stay in the infirmary. :D
ext_2207: (Default)
[identity profile] abyssinia4077.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 15th, 2008 05:27 pm (UTC)
Yes, but eventually Daniel will no longer be weak from bloodloss but that cast will probably stay on for a while...

(also, I bet Sam would help him be evil)
ext_3314: Woman writing (Default)
[identity profile] pepper-field.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 15th, 2008 05:44 pm (UTC)
(also, I bet Sam would help him be evil)

True. And Teal'c - they've probably experienced enough of that sort of thing to have a lot of sympathy for Daniel. Hee.
[identity profile] annienau08.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 15th, 2008 05:25 pm (UTC)
Hee! That was fabulous.

It takes great effort to be this annoying.

Except for Jack, it really kind of doesn't.

(ETA: Meep! My copy of Continuum was posted yesterday! *sits by letterbox*)

YAY!
ext_3314: Woman writing (Default)
[identity profile] pepper-field.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 15th, 2008 05:42 pm (UTC)
Continuum! It's not even due out here until the 18th - and I might not get until then - but I MIGHT! *loves Play.com*

Hee, thank you! I think Jack sees his annoyingness as an art form. He's perfecting it. His greatest work is yet to come. *g*
aelfgyfu_mead: Aelfgyfu as a South Park-style cartoon (Default)
[personal profile] aelfgyfu_mead wrote:
Aug. 15th, 2008 08:32 pm (UTC)
Jack at his most irritating. Oh, my heart goes out to Daniel!
ext_3314: Woman writing (Default)
[identity profile] pepper-field.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 15th, 2008 08:42 pm (UTC)
No one feels sorry for Jack! He's only annoying because he was worried, you know. ;D
aelfgyfu_mead: Aelfgyfu as a South Park-style cartoon (Default)
[personal profile] aelfgyfu_mead wrote:
Aug. 15th, 2008 08:46 pm (UTC)
It's hard to feel sorry for Jack when he's being such a pain!

Like the icon, by the way.
ext_3314: Woman writing (Default)
[identity profile] pepper-field.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 15th, 2008 10:44 pm (UTC)
Aw, ta! :)
ext_2043: (Default)
[identity profile] zats-clear.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 15th, 2008 08:48 pm (UTC)
omg this so sounds like workman's comp or OSHA paperwork!!!! lmao!
ext_3314: Woman writing (Default)
[identity profile] pepper-field.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 15th, 2008 09:03 pm (UTC)
Hee! Well, that's just worrying, because I was making it up entirely. I clearly spend too much time at work. *g*
[identity profile] mrspollifax.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 15th, 2008 10:27 pm (UTC)
Hee! Oh, that's just great!!

Fell 3 underscore, underscore floors.

*snort* Yes, Jack, rub it in. Poor Daniel, surviving that only to be tortured to death by Jack. =)

ext_3314: Woman writing (Default)
[identity profile] pepper-field.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 15th, 2008 10:43 pm (UTC)
Yeah, it's just one damn thing after another for Daniel. A Colonel O'Neill with a point to make is not shy about really labouring said point. Thank you! Glad you liked. :D
[identity profile] kellifer-fic.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 15th, 2008 10:43 pm (UTC)
Heheheee!! Loved it.
ext_3314: Woman writing (Default)
[identity profile] pepper-field.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 15th, 2008 11:10 pm (UTC)
Yay! Ta. I aim to... write daft stuff. *g*
ext_1328: (Default)
[identity profile] l-jade.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 16th, 2008 02:12 am (UTC)
Heeeeee.... you write the cutest Jack... (and Daniel and sam and Teal'c) :P
ext_3314: Woman writing (Default)
[identity profile] pepper-field.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 16th, 2008 10:11 am (UTC)
Aw, ta! Yeah, Jack annoying somehow equals cute, doesn't it? Luckily for him. *g*
[identity profile] crazedturkey.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 16th, 2008 12:49 pm (UTC)
*hugs*

Cameo by me!

Thankyou Pepper :).
ext_3314: Woman writing (Default)
[identity profile] pepper-field.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 16th, 2008 01:45 pm (UTC)
Yes! Because I think you'd do great, wrangling Colonels. :)

*hugs* And well done on the GP training programme!
sid: (Default)
[personal profile] sid wrote:
Aug. 23rd, 2008 03:45 am (UTC)
Just found this via sg1_debrief! Such fun, and perfect, perfect Jack. :-D
ext_3314: Woman writing (Default)
[identity profile] pepper-field.livejournal.com wrote:
Aug. 24th, 2008 10:14 pm (UTC)
:) Thank you! And, hah, perfect icon. *g*
sid: (Default)
[personal profile] sid wrote:
Aug. 24th, 2008 11:22 pm (UTC)
Oh, slashers have MANY icons from that scene. ;-)
ext_1770: @ _jems_ (Default)
[identity profile] oxoniensis.livejournal.com wrote:
Sep. 5th, 2008 11:44 am (UTC)
Hah, that was just disarmingly them! Adorable!
ext_3314: Woman writing (Default)
[identity profile] pepper-field.livejournal.com wrote:
Sep. 24th, 2008 09:27 am (UTC)
Thank you! Put them on a page, and they just automatically seem to start snarking at one another. *g*
[identity profile] annj-g80.livejournal.com wrote:
Sep. 21st, 2008 01:08 pm (UTC)
LOL! Even my teeth are grinning with me.
ext_3314: Woman writing (Default)
[identity profile] pepper-field.livejournal.com wrote:
Sep. 24th, 2008 09:28 am (UTC)
Hee - glad you (and Her Majesty *g*) liked!
paian: blank white (Default)
[personal profile] paian wrote:
Sep. 21st, 2008 05:03 pm (UTC)
lol! So sorry I missed this when it posted, and glad [livejournal.com profile] kellifer_fic pointed. Delightful!
lark_ascends: Blue and purple dragonfly, green background (Default)
[personal profile] lark_ascends wrote:
Sep. 21st, 2008 11:04 pm (UTC)
Heee hee hee hee hee heeeeeeee!!

Recced here by [livejournal.com profile] kellifer_fic
[identity profile] lizbet0.livejournal.com wrote:
Sep. 24th, 2008 04:18 am (UTC)
*glee* This was delightful! I can so hear & see Jack doing exactly this (& driving poor Daniel absolutely batty!) How long until Daniel whacks Jack with his cast, I wonder? *grin*

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