There's only so much I can help these poor movies - I think anything with Tom Cruise in is beyond redemption. But I'm fully prepared to sit down with the X-Men movies, say, and explain where they've gone wrong, and how they could return to the paths of righteousness.

How do you think I could become a better chocolate? I wasn't aware I was a chocolate in the first place, so perhaps I could begin by acknowledging that I am, in fact, 70% cocoa solids...