Big grey area, yeah. :)

I was thinking AMTDI rather than a friends with benefits, hurt/comfort type thing - I'd agree with you in seeing those as ship-ish. (I'm prepared to believe there can be exceptions, but generally speaking.)

I was thinking that it's more likely that shippers would ponder the effect of AMTDI on their OTP (and whether it turns out to be bad or good is entirely author-dependent). It would be a hard thing to pitch as definitely friendship, I think.