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More exerpts from the SGC Christmas party reel (for original post, see here):
There will be further silliness as and when I think of it. This is good to do on my journey home, I've discovered.
edit: Whee! Now with comment fic from![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
linnet_101!
edit2: And more comment fic fromniamaea! This is the best idea I've had yet - the fic is coming to me. *g*
edit3: *does dance of glee at own cleverness in coming up with a way to bring the fic to me*holdouttrout wrote me comment fic too! *hugs*
edit4:sjfan has joined in the fun, too, with some Janet fic! *glees*
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There's a section set to the Scissor Sisters, 'I Don't Feel Like Dancing'. No amount of threats or bribery has ever succeeded in getting it cut.
First up comes Colonel O'Neill, standing outside General Hammond's door and plainly bored out of his skull. He sways side-to-side, staring at his feet. Then he begins to bounce, testingly. Then he hops from foot to foot, getting more involved in his own private game, balancing on one foot and then springing onto the other foot, neither foot touching the floor at the same time (and when now-General O'Neill watches this, he always winces and rubs at knees no longer up for such frivolity). Then, head still down and staring at his feet, he breaks into a remarkably competent soft-shoe shuffle, getting more enthusiastic, more absorbed... until he jumps like he's been shot at the sound of His Master's Voice, straightens, and is entirely sober and professional as he enters Hammond's office.
Next, brief as an hallucination, Walter, Siler, and an assortment of Control Room technicians flit past the Gateroom camera – performing the Dance of the Cygnets. Sam has always thought that the recording might have some use as an interrogation instrument, but she's never quite figured out how.
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Sam and Janet stride briskly down the hall. Outside a door, Sam stops, but Janet walks straight into the room and flings open her white lab coat. There's a crash from within the room, and then she's back out a moment later, and they're off down the hall - Janet with her lab coat wrapped tightly around her again, and Sam surreptitiously handing her... something. A caption follows the clip. "Unfortunately, the camera in Doctor Jackson's room had mysteriously developed a malfunction, so the other side of this footage is unavailable."
---
As the reel grows and is added to, selected highlights from Jennifer Hailey's final test appear. They'd brought out the big guns for her. A month later she still wasn't a hundred percent sure the test was actually over – or that it hadn't in fact been a series of horrible accidents that were subsequently passed off as a test in order to salvage several careers.
When General Hammond screws with your mind, he really screws with your mind.
---
There will be further silliness as and when I think of it. This is good to do on my journey home, I've discovered.
edit: Whee! Now with comment fic from
linnet_101!edit2: And more comment fic from
niamaea! This is the best idea I've had yet - the fic is coming to me. *g*edit3: *does dance of glee at own cleverness in coming up with a way to bring the fic to me*
holdouttrout wrote me comment fic too! *hugs*edit4:
sjfan has joined in the fun, too, with some Janet fic! *glees*
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It's a shot of the corridor outside O'Neill's office. Daniel saunters casually towards the door, a hammer in hand and checks both ways before slipping out of sight. The tape speeds up as more and more people converge at the office, carrying step-ladders, heavy duty power tools and what suspiciously looks like a giant wrench.
The timestamp on the tape shows that exactly 1 hour and 23 minutes have elapsed as the last person exits and Daniel shuts the door behind him.
Jack O'Neill returns from a meeting a short while later, folders tucked under his arm. He opens the door and stands open mouthed for several seconds before bellowing a name at the camera (presumed to be Daniel)
The camera POV switches to the interior of O'Neill's office where every piece of furniture has been attached to the ceiling, complete to the very last knick knack that graced his desk.
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*goes to think about it.*
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There's a fade-in to an old Family Circus comic -- one of Billy's neighborhood romps, with the thin dotted line trailing over fences, up trees, in tight loops and figure eights, jumping over cats and other small children. The screen cuts to the empty corridor outside of Colonel O'Neill's office and plays for a few seconds in real time; then an engine revs and the tape kicks into high speed. Upbeat cartoon racing music plays.
A series of security camera footage follows O'Neill as he steps out of his office and makes his way down to Hammond's office, steps in, sits down, gestures wildly, stands up, sits down, stands up, leaves, weaves around the briefing room table and down into the control room, out of the control room, into the elevator, out of the elevator, down the hall to Dr. Jackson's office, stays there for a short time as O'Neill circles the table, picks up a book, puts it down, flips through it, wanders off to a whiteboard (as Daniel, without looking, turns the book back to it's original page), doodles a few stick figures in a corner, paces a few laps (and is ignored), and finally leaves --
-- back into the elevator, down a level, through the hallways to a lab; Jack sits in a chair, spins a few times as Sam continues working, fiddles with a screwdriver found on a counter, starts trying to balance it on his finger, has it taken away, spins some more, gets up, peers over Sam's shoulder, is shooed away from Sam's shoulder, says something that involves a lot of pointing, leaves, down the hallway, to the elevator --
-- to the commissary, where Jack chats with another team for a few minutes, grabs a sandwich, sits down, eats it, stands up, out of the commissary, through the halls, down the stairs, to Teal'c's door (no answer), to the gym, watches SG-3 playing basketball, steals the ball, sinks a basket, leaves, back to Teal'c's door (no answer), to the infirmary, talks to Frasier, talks to some nurses, talks to Fraiser, watches Siler getting his hand bandaged, is kicked out of the infirmary, back to Teal'c's door (no answer), into the elevator, back to Daniel's office, greets Teal'c with much arm waving, picks up a stone tablet, gets some arm waving in return from Daniel, back into the hallway, down to the locker rooms...
When Jack finally rounds the corner to the corridor outside of his office again, the tape slows back down to real time. As he opens the door, a caption pops up at the bottom of the screen, right beside the time stamp: "TOTAL ELAPSED TIME: 2 hours 49 minutes."
--
The screen reads "Science Hour with Dr. William Lee." It fades into footage shot from a lab camera of Bill standing with a few technicians and an alien device. "Okay," he says, rubbing his hands together. "Let's turn it on."
What follows is a montage of experiments with a variety of machines, chemicals, and weapons. Some catch fire, some shoot sparks, one or two actually explode and send the assembled scientists scurrying for cover under tables and around cabinets. One releases a massive cloud of thick grey smoke; another activates and sprays some kind of ink out in all directions, drenching everyone gathered. Several clips feature everyone in the room suddenly recoiling, visibly bracing themselves... and then slowly creeping back to the center of the room, cautiously, sheepishly, as whatever they were experimenting on sits motionless.
In the final clip, an assuming metal ball releases a shock-wave that knocks everyone to the ground. Several moments later, Lee pulls himself to his feet, goggles askew. "Uh...yeah, so let's -- let's try that again," he says.
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*_*_*_*_*
The next clip is of a darkened hallway, during one of the many blackouts of the third year of operations. Daniel walks by the camera first, trying valiantly to read a folder he is carrying with him. He walks past a door in almost the center of the frame, continues walking until he was at the very edge of the shot, and then stops abruptly, looking up and heading back to the door. He steps inside and lets the door close behind him. He does not come out.
Then there's a time lapse, and O'Neill and Sam come down the same corridor, holding flashlights and looking alertly around them, heads bent close together. Watchers can catch 'Daniel' being mouthed frequently as they reach the center of the frame. They almost walk past the door, but both their heads turn at the same instant. Then Sam opens the door and O'Neill holds it open as she walks inside. There are a couple of minutes of O'Neill standing at the door, but the camera isn't at the right angle to see inside. Then, suddenly, O'Neill lets go of the door and steps forward into the room. (There is a fierce debate about this section, over whether or not O'Neill goes in of his own will or if there is a hand that jerks him inside.)
There is quite a bit of time lapse, and then Teal'c strides into the picture, pauses before the enigmatic door and opens it, revealing his three other team members, apparently breathless from shouting and pounding on the door.
When asked about this segment, the team universally blames O'Neill for locking them in the storage closet. O'Neill just smiles enigmatically.
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The Heels have it
The klaxon's had just sounded the unauthorized Incoming wormhole and Janet who had just finished patching up Siler's nose had a raging headache. Siler in his attempt to help had grabbed a hold of the nasal packing used to stop the bleeding of his nose. Meanwhile Janet was carefully timing the packing treatment which when dissolved would form a seal effectively stopping the bleeding. Siler however it seemed had other ideas.
"No you can't touch it and Janet reached over to stop him when Bam and crash it looked like something from one of those Laurel and Hardy movies. They cracked foreheads and Janet went spinning into the exam table on the other side of the stretcher,meanwhile Siler just got pushed back on the stretcher where he was lying dazed and confused. Janet was quick to recover but her head was throbbing from the encounter.
"SSG Siler stay put and don't touch your nose until I get back."
"Yes Madmm" he replied unable to pronounce it properly with his nose packed.
Janet gathered her supplies and began running for the elevator.
Just then an announcement was heard "All medical personnel to the gate room incoming casualties".
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The new cameras overlooking the gate itself had just been installed that afternoon and managed to highlight the incoming disaster
Janet knowing what was about to be shown, slunk down in her seat and tried to pretend the next episode wasn't her. Sam Carter leaned forward anxiously,she had heard about this many times but was behind O'Neill when it actually occurred so she didn't witness it firsthand.
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A Whirl of white was seen out of the corner of the screen followed by bright orange. Janet concentrating on getting to the personnel injured forgot to consider the ramp combined with her present state of dizziness.
As her left foot made contact with the ramp her right heel stuck in the grate and she fell forward with the bright orange medical case she carried for emergencies. The weight of the case propelled Janet into the air. The medics trying to avert disaster wheeled the stretcher so it could break her fall but Daniel not paying attention and injured thought it was for him. He dragged himself onto the stretcher just as Janet was coming to land on it herself.
Janet's entire body landed on the top of Daniel splayed out. Janet's resulting orange bag skidded to a landing over the top of the stretcher and broke open spraying them with various medical supplies. The resulting Daniel and Janet "sandwich" as it came to be known had the entire gate room in hysterical laughter. Even General Hammond was trying to abstain from outright laughter and instead settled on a huge smirk and head shaking in response. Luckily no one was seriously hurt and Daniel and Janet managed to free themselves.
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Watching it up close and personal Sam couldn't help but laugh, her best friend looking like a flying nun with the lab jacket flapping in the air and the rain of medical supplies on top of them was just too much. Janet blushed furiously and Daniel turned beet red as well. However Daniel had the last laugh when he said, "Hey Sam don't forget the pictures of you in that blue dress are coming up next".
Fin
(hope you liked my attempt at this if not flame me or praise me at carlsonden@gmail.com)
Re: The Heels have it