I was thinking yesterday, wouldn't it be useful to have a general grammar guide for some of those scifi tropes we all know and (sometimes) love? The one where they all swap bodies, the one where they travel back into the past, the one where they meet alternate versions of themselves...

There aren't really any rules for this stuff, not in English grammar, because it's not designed for time travel, alternate versions of oneself, etc. But having been a scifi fan since forever, a fanfic writer for just as long, and always, well, not a Grammar Nazi, but at least a... Grammar Collaborator? Um, let's drop those terms, they make me uncomfortable. I'm a grammaphile, and I've wrestled with some of these concepts before, trying to put them into legible English.

There are some awesome grammar comms out there, in particular fandom_grammar but they're more about actual, real grammar, and not this made up stuff. *g*

Note: I ain't no expert, and I'm not trying to be prescriptive. These are suggestions as to what feels right, YMMV, go strut your funky creative licence stuff. I have a few book to which I might refer (principally Strunk & White's Elements of Style), but they are also subject to changes in location (British =/= American =/= Canadian =/= Australian =/= other places' proper grammar) and time (language evolves, goddammit). I myself am prone to older grammar constructions, having read a lot of old books in my formative years. I welcome correction, suggestion and debate, but not flames or outright revolution.

And I'm blaming crazedturkey for encouraging this whole idea.

So, what shall we tackle first? Well, seeing as I've been polling opinion on this one recently, how about bodyswap and gendered pronouns...

One day, SG-1 were happily exploring yet another planet full of trees and Ancient artifacts and stuff. The Colonel had gone off to see a tree about a dog, when - whoosh! - a purple ray shot out of a nearby obelisk, enveloping Daniel, Sam and Teal'c. When Jack's yells and boot-nudges woke them up again, they looked around at one another and quickly realised: THEY HAD SWAPPED BODIES! Sam's consciousness was in Daniel's body, Daniel's was in Teal'c, and Teal'c's was in Sam. Oh no!

"Damn those Ancients litterbugs and their stupid experiments!" said Jack. "How am I going to write this up in my report? What pronouns am I supposed to use? Do I refer to Carter as 'he', now?" For Jack was a bit of a stickler for good grammar, one of the reasons I love him so.

"I'm still a 'she'!" exclaimed Sam. "This may be Daniel's body and Daniel's clothes and Daniel's shoes, but I'm still a woman." She glared at them all, but due to the sunlight reflecting off of Daniel's glasses, it wasn't as effective as usual.

"I concur," said Teal'c, noticing how thin his voice sounded coming from Sam's larynx. Perhaps he should not say so aloud, though. Major Carter might not appreciate it.

Daniel nodded. "It's like my old friend Steven Rayner," he said. "When she was transitioning to Stephanie, we all referred to her as 'she', out of respect for her gender identification, even before she'd had the operation."

"Okay, that seems fair," said Jack. "And ouch, by the way. But if I was writing from the point of view of someone who didn't know you'd all swapped bodies, I'd totally call you 'he', Carter, and you 'she', T."

"Fair enough," agreed Sam.

"That is understandable."

"Hmm," said Jack, "maybe I should not tell Siler about it and get him to write a section of the report, just so anyone reading is reminded of the situation. Because they can't see you, you know. The readers, I mean. Particularly for Daniel, because he's still a 'he' - people are gonna get confused."

"It is a report, not a story, O'Neill," said Teal'c.

"Oh, yes. True. Sometimes I forget."

"How many people d'you think are going to read your report anyway?" asked Daniel. He caught the look in Jack's eye. "Oh, don't you dare. I can totally beat you up, now I have Teal'c's muscles."

"You may have my body," said Teal'c, pushing Sam's hair out of his eyes, "but you do not have my skills as a warrior."

Sam sneezed.

"I guess. But hey, at least Sam's got my allergies," noted Daniel. "Tissues are in your back pocket, Sam."

Teal'c wobbled a little as he tried to stand up. "Major Carter, you have very small feet," he said, disapprovingly.

"Oh, boy," sighed Jack.

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JACK'S QUICK GUIDE:

1. Sam is still a 'she' and Teal'c is still a 'he'.

2. Daniel's obviously still a 'he', but I might mention his name a bit more if I want to remind people who he is.

3. I could use 'hir' or 's/he', but really, anything outside the usual is probably just going to distract the reader.

4. Seriously, this is a bit freaky. I'm so not upset that I missed out on this one.

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Hokay. I'm sure I've missed plenty, so feel free to offer suggestions. Do me a favour and stick to gender and/or bodyswap grammar, though – I'm planning to tackle some of the other stuff in later posts. :)