pepper | Not wanting to be part of the silence.

I was talking with a (white) woman at work yesterday, who lived in South Africa during the time of apartheid, who who fought in her own small ways against it, and leapt at the chance to vote it out, the moment she could. She said that there was only one good thing to come out of apartheid: that it forced the rest of the world to confront its own inherent and systemic racism – that countries like the UK and the US found it much harder to oppose apartheid and still pretend that exactly the same sort of thing wasn't happening at home.

I don't mean to say that it was worth it – that any people, ever, should have to suffer through something like that for the greater good. But you can't change the past, and you can learn from it.

No, racism hasn't ended. Not even remotely. White privilege is still here and living it large – I benefit from it, myself. What a rich, rich country I live in, built on the money of Empire. Do I want to give up my privileges? Well, no, not especially. God do I need the boost, to know that, when I'm applying for a job, it's possible that people will make positive assumptions about me, due to my oh-so-English name and my country of origin. Do I like that I think that way? No. Am I glad that I'm becoming more aware of it? The selfish part of me isn't, because it's uncomfortable and it might mean that I might have to do something about it, against my inherent laziness and fear of confrontation – but the part of me that wants to become a better human being is glad.

That's what EB et al are doing for me: they are giving me a shining, shining example of that selfishness taken to its logical conclusion. What EB started, and others like her have done by running with it, is polarising opinion – and I don't think it's because what they're doing is an extreme example of racism, but precisely because it's so ordinary, so established and unexamined. It makes some of us, white and comfortably liberal, stop and think – "Well, if EB can end up saying that, acting like that, when she seemed to be starting from where I am..."

(Whereas what I think WS and KC are doing is simply and solely Being Dicks.)

I have read more about people of colour, racism, racism in the SF community, and white privilege, in the last three months than I ever had before. I've read some wonderfully eloquent posts – posts that changed my perception and gave me insights I'd never thought to seek out, before.

deepad's post, I Didn't Dream Of Dragons, for instance.

I think some people involved have suffered, and I would never have wished it on them – but as it has happened, I hope that people of colour are getting something out of this, and that it's not just All About Me (my education, my views challenged, my privilege, my wanting to feel and act like a better human being... I need to keep in mind that those are only important to me – only the way I act will have an impact on the larger world). Selfishly, I hope that this does not signal the departure or alienation of a large number of PoC from the world of SF fandom - because I love that world, and I want it to be enriched by as many good and interesting people as possible. I hope the dialogue underway, with those people who are ready to discuss it sensibly, can make a change to those worlds. I hope people of colour feel that the fight is becoming easier instead of harder, and that there are a lot of people out there who want to listen and help. I hope it stops being a fight, and becomes a landslide. I hope you never, ever, EVER shut up, not even for a little bit.

If my arse is showing, please let me know.

Marking this as 'Everyone (Public)' is scary, y'all.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

I've been keeping casual tabs on the discussion, and to be brutally honest, I haven't felt the need to expound and I haven't chosen my thoughts and words on the subject, although I'm glad to see people are starting to talk about it. The only way to fight ignorance and hate is with love and education, and in order to educate, the discussion must be started.

Yeah, I've not needed / wanted to speak about it before - I didn't feel I had much to add. But more recently, I wondered if more voices added in support would be better. I'm wavering between having a people-power mum and a personal fear of getting involved. :)

I love this thank you.

I've written and deleted countless posts on this myself. I end up stumbling over myself and sounding like a moron. But there is something for not being silent and lord knows I babble on all the freaking time about other issues I am more comfrotable with.

Which I think is the point - you have to push pass your own comfort boundaries and say, "I am not sure how to address this, but something is not right so perhaps a simple "No" will do."

If that makes sense.

Thank you. :) Absolutely makes sense. Yeah, I've started and not posted a few times, during all this. Mine is not an important voice in this - but sometimes it is important to say "And me", and it felt like one of those times. I wavered so much about posting this - I am not good with adding my voice to a serious debate like this, knowing that I don't know enough.

Thank you for sharing this. I can't speak for other PoC, but I will say I've gotten a lot out of this, and that I'm really, really glad so many people have responded to "shut up" with "hell, no".

I also appreciated your story about your talk about apartheid, and this:

I don't mean to say that it was worth it – that any people, ever, should have to suffer through something like that for the greater good. But you can't change the past, and you can learn from it.

Because yeah, I definitely feel like that about a lot of things -- if we could have a world where they could not have happened, that would be great, but at the same time, there's a reason so much SF has the time travel paradox conundrum: it is always necessary to live through our past to get to the present and the future. And if we can't skip it and can't make it unnecessary, I'd much rather learn from it than wish it would go away or avoid thinking about it. (A lesson I think some people on the other side of this great morass of fail have yet to learn.)

Thank you - I'm truly glad that all this time and effort (I don't mean mine!), all these spoons (as per the post I've just been reading) haven't been wholly wasted - because I personally feel there's some gold come out of it. I've read some beautiful, thought-provoking posts - including yours, about the fish. :)

And yes, exactly - it would be lovely if it just was not. But it is, it was, it happened, it exists. And, hell NO, sticking our fingers in our ears and hoping it will all go away for a while... just, no.

:)

I've been following the discussion. I think it IS important to add your voice. I would struggle with what to say.

You did not.

Well said.

:) Thanks. And oh, I did struggle - putting srs thoughts into writing and having it make sense isn't something I do well (to me, my post looks rather WALL OF TEXT - where's my space? Where's my dialogue?!? *g*). But it felt necessary to make the attempt.

That's pretty much how I feel. I've done two or three posts now. I don't think they're much help to anyone, except in that mine add--I think sometimes it matters how many people speak up against wrong and for others.

Yes. I feel so clueless about race issues sometimes, but there's value in simply saying, "No. I will not remain part of the problem, and I won't shut up, either."

It's practically all I/we can do, sometimes, though it doesn't feel like nearly enough.

*whines sarcastically* Being white is haaaaard. <---- SARCASM.

Seriously, though, when I think of the sheer numbers of ways in which being white has helped me, or just made me invisible, or made me more comfortable, or allowed me to remain silent when I should have something, I start to realize what a tough job we have ahead of us if we are going to change people's attitudes.

Um. Including my/our own attitudes. Yeah, I always end up thinking of one more thing to say right after I hit 'post.'

Yes - I was feeling a little helpless, too. There aren't many times I feel strongly enough to feel helpless, but this seemed like a time when it would almost be actively negative not to add my voice.

And it's nice not to have to deal with this, it's nice not to have to think about race issues. It's nice, it's pleasant, it's relaxing, it's... not necessarily the right thing to do.

Exactly. People power. Peaceful protest. Velvet revolutions. They can work.

I identify, my friend. And I think you expressed your thoughts very well. Considering the epic scale of this thing it's difficult to know exactly what to say, so I think just saying what you feel is best. And I think it's important to reassure/encourage other white people that, yeah, it's hard to examine your own privilege, but it's the best thing to do. It's the RIGHT thing to do.

Not wanting to be part of the silence.

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